I tweeted “once, but forever.” about a few days ago. It’s probably something that only I can understand, because it relates to me so perfectly. But if it relates to you, then I thank you because I know I am not alone.

I am still in the I-am-sitting-for-a-public-exam-soon-that-will-determine-my-future phase. And I wanted to put this post on standby and continue studying but suddenly I just told myself “why not just do it now?”

Because my inspiration and motivation to write does not just appear whenever I want it to, and since I already have what I want to say in my head, here goes:

As I grow older and as I gain more experiences, I start to realise that in this life you only meet some people once, and that’s the end. No matter how much they have impacted you, or no matter how much you miss them, or no matter what they have done to your life in that short timespan you met them for the first and last time, that once, means forever.

And this distance, cannot be covered by social media, because you know that whatever virtual connections you have with them still cannot compare to the feeling you get when you see them in person.

It’s not the I-want-to-marry-you kind of love, but more like a soft chain tied closely around your heart. It doesn’t really hurt, but every now and then you become aware of the chain’s existence – and you think about those people and wonder how are they doing, especially if you don’t even have their names.

It’s a bizarre thing to think of, that someone has actually imprinted something in your life without even presenting their name – but I’ve experienced it, and I can tell you, it’s bittersweet – because you’re smiling while recalling that short memory with them; yet that hollow feeling in your stomach still exists when you remember the fact that you might not, ever, get to see them again.

Sometimes I dream of a place, where everyone I miss will be there, no matter whether they’re from Kalimantan or Australia or the UK; whether I met them through debate or mission trips or on the busy streets.

Quote from Miriam Adeney,

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

But I’d say, it is a fair trade-off.

Back to studying! #asian

Love, Jovita

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